Bye, Bye, King Arthur
by Roc Lammergeier
Summary: A parody of the song "American Pie" involving the tale of King Arthur.


Bye, Bye, King Arthur

A long, long time ago,

I can still remember how the tournaments

Were so very long.

And I knew if I had my chance,

I would find an epic romance,

And maybe I'd end up in a song.

But Badon Hill made me shiver,

With every blow I delivered.

Bad news for the village,

They thought we'd try to pillage.

I can't remember if I cried when I

Heard about his widowed bride,

But something touched me deep inside

The day the true king died.

So, bye, bye, King Arthur and Kai,

Tried to save you but it ended when Mordred 'n you died,

And the good ol' knights are either dead or alive,

Cryin' "Avalon is where his body lies!"

Did you write the Book of Jove,

And do you have faith in God above

If the Bible tells you so?

Now do you believe in chivalry,

Can religion save you and me,

And can you teach me how to parry that one swing?

Now I know that you're in love with him

'Cause I saw you two gallivantin'.

You both kicked off your shoes,

How did your husband not know 'bout you?

I was a lonely teenage rompin' rogue,

With a old warhorse and a tarnished sword,

But I knew I came to the end o' the road

The day the true king died.

I was singing:

Bye, bye, King Arthur and Kai,

Tried to save you but it ended when Mordred 'n you died,

And the good ol' knights are either dead or alive,

Cryin' "Avalon is where his body lies!"

For ten years we've been on our own

And moss grows fat on a round stone,

But that's not how it used to be.

When the jester sang for the king and queen

In a coat he borrowed from forest Jean

In a voice that came from Dinadan.

'N while the king was looking down,

The jester stole his royal crown.

The Round Table was adjourned,

But was never returned!

And while Bishop read a book of marks,

The courtiers practiced in the park,

And we sang ballads in the dark

The day the true king died.

We were singing:

Bye, bye, King Arthur and Kai,

Tried to save you but it ended when Mordred 'n you died,

And the good ol' knights are either dead or alive,

Cryin' "Avalon is where his body lies!"

Helter skelter in a lone meadow

With the birds flyin' off on a lone arrow,

Eight miles high and falling fast…

Bam! They landed on the grass,

The jouster tried for a forward pass

With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the festival was sweet perfume

While bards played a drinking tune.

We all got up to dance

Oh! But we never got the chance.

'Cause the soldiers tried to clear the field,

The musicians refused to yield.

Do you recall what was revealed

The day the true king died?

We were singing:

Bye, bye, King Arthur and Kai,

Tried to save you but it ended when Mordred 'n you died,

And the good ol' knights are either dead or alive,

Cryin' "Avalon is where his body lies!"

And there we were all in one place,

A knights' order lost in space

With no time left to start again.

So come on! Mord' be nimble, Mord' be quick!

Mordred sat on a candlestick

'Cause fire is the devil's only friend.

And as I watched him on the stage

My hands were clenched in fists of rage.

No angel born in hell

Could break that Satan's spell.

And as the knights rode far in to the night,

To light the sacrificial rite

I saw Satan laughing with delight

The day the true king died.

He was singing:

Bye, bye, King Arthur and Kai,

Tried to save you but it ended when Mordred 'n you died,

And the good ol' knights are either dead or alive,

Cryin' "Avalon is where his body lies!"

I met a bard who sang the blues,

And I asked him for some happy news,

But he just smiled and turned away.

I went down to Glatonsbur',

Where I'd seen the king years before,

But the priest there said the king was no more.

In the streets the children screamed,

The lovers cried and the poets dreamed,

But not a word was spoken,

The church bells all were croaking.

And the three men I admire most:

The father, son, and the Holy Ghost;

They took the last ship from the coast

The day the true king died.

They were singing:

Bye, bye, King Arthur and Kai,

Tried to save you but it ended when Mordred 'n you died,

And the good ol' knights are either dead or alive,

Cryin' "Avalon is where his body lies!"


End file.
